Pregnancy "Glow": A Huge Lie.

#9.
That moment when you start to suspect that the "pregnancy glow" is a mythical thing made up by people who have never been pregnant. 

My face is breaking out a la 1995, when I was fifteen and my skin care routine consisted of cheap makeup and Stridex pads. My eyes have impossibly dark circles underneath them, making me look like a sunken-eyed mummy just in time for Halloween. My skin is dry and itchy. I cannot color my hair, so my roots are now several inches long -- not a good look.

The LAST thing I feel is "glowing."

Seriously, I think the zits on my face are starting to form constellations....here's a quick shot of the Big Dipper forming on my cheek. See what I mean?

I must not be the only pregnant women to feel less than glowing during the nine months. It makes me suspicious that "You're positively glowing!" is just a default thing people tell pregnant women so they don't end up inadvertently saying something like, "Oh my gosh, you're HUGE!" or "What do you have in there, a watermelon?"

Maybe with a good sugar scrub, I can coax this mythical glow out from the shadows. But for now, I'm spending a fortune on concealer.