My hands won't work

#5.
That moment when you feel like either a toddler or a 90-year-old with arthritis, because your hands are refusing to form the correct shapes to button buttons, type on a keyboard, and hold a pen....and your handwriting has turned into nonsense scribble.

I think I need Velcro shoes.

Ogre Feet

#4. That moment when your feet stop looking human and start resembling Princess Fiona's ogre feet.

If a picture is worth a thousand words, this picture screams "Cankles! Swelling! Water weight!" 

A friend of mine who was recently reading this blog mentioned that to get the full effect of the swelling, I really needed to show a comparison photo of my feet under normal circumstances. So, here it is (ignore the horrendous lack of pedicure):

Really? It's almost midnight, and now you're ready to eat?

#3.
That moment when you're lying in bed at 11:30 p.m., starving because the thought of all foods grossed you out all day long, but suddenly the thought of warm, cheesy, fattening macaroni & cheese enters your mind and you must have it immediately.

Breathing Room

#2.
That moment when you get undressed and realize that while you may technically still fit into your non-maternity clothes, it may be time to make the switch.

Lesson: Never Buy the Single-Pack Pregnancy Test

#1. 

That moment when your pee just barely touches the stick and it's instantly positive, but then you worry it's wrong, because like an idiot, you only bought the single-pack Equate brand test. So you drive frantically to CVS five minutes until they close to buy an EPT test. 

It's not as if I truly doubted the Equate test. But at times like these, you really have to hand it to the marketing genius who suggested the name "EPT: The Error Proof Test." When you're standing in the "Family Planning" aisle of CVS at 8:55, knowing they close at 9:00, you want to be as sure as possible that you're pregnant. You're going to spend the $16.99 on the EPT 2-pack.

I drove 70 mph home, and took the test as soon as I could possibly get my pants down and hover awkwardly over the toilet. Unless two "Error Proof Tests" were indeed erroneous, I am PREGNANT. 

Pregnancy Can Be Hilarious

During my first pregnancy, I was so serious. I read all the books, signed my husband and I up for the birthing classes, and fretted about every new feeling. I'm now 10 weeks pregnant with my second child, and this time around I am resolved to take everything as it comes, enjoy it, and laugh at the things that are truly funny about being pregnant. As I began to think about it, I realized there are a lot of them....there are times I laugh out loud to myself about something that is happening to my body. There are times I can't do something, and instead of being frustrated, I now laugh at myself. If you are a mom or an expecting mom, I know you'll understand, sympathize, and relate to all those moments of pregnancy when there's nothing to do but have a good "belly" laugh.